I knew, just knew that Millie's radiographs would come back as suspicious for osteosarcoma. Since I adopted Millie in 2007, my two biggest medical fears with her were bone cancer and bloat...and here I am faced with one of the two...the less desirable of the two...
On 1/19/12 I returned home from a very hectic day at work. We had a new corporate client come in & my afternoon was taken over by meetings. I didn't have time to run home to walk Sugar & Millie. A friend & I had planned to meet up for dinner & drinks after work, so she happily followed me back to my apartment to walk the girls before heading out together. We walked in, and Sugar was immediately at our feet, and supremely sorry. She had an upset stomach, and couldn't hold it. As I cleaned up her diarrhea Millie happily wagged her tail in her crate. My friend took Sugar for a walk & I let Millie out of the crate to leash her up. Millie emerged from the crate with a slight limp. As she danced around waiting for the leash to be hooked up, she seemed to lose any sign of a limp. I brushed it off as nothing, assuming her leg had fallen asleep due to the way she had been laying, and out we went. I mentioned it to my friend, though, but more of as a, "my day couldn't get any worse after cleaning up diarrhea, and now my other dog is limping..." kind of thought. Later that evening I returned home & Millie was still using all four feet just fine.
I had the next day, a Friday, off. I had just returned home from a work conference, so this day off was in place of one of my travel days. I had missed the girlies while away, not to mention a few TV shows, so I planned to do nothing but cuddle the creatures & catch up on TV. We had a glorious day of nothing. Later in the evening my boyfriend, Evan, came over, and I noticed Millie limping again after greeting him. It was in that moment that I knew. Something just felt off. I hoped that I was wrong, and that it was just some unknown arthritis triggered from her TPLO & the recent cold weather, but I knew. I had Evan hold her so that I could palpate both back legs & could feel that her left knee was slightly bigger than the right. I had him walk Millie up and down the hall while I stared at her back legs. I called a friend who was working at the emergency clinic (since it was around 11pm at this time), to see how much an exam & radiographs would be. She gave me prices, and said that as long as Millie was okay, I could probably wait until tomorrow & go to her regular vet. She was right, Millie was fine. I was impatient, but I had to keep my budget in mind. I decided to wait until the next morning to take her in.
At most, I slept an hour. I had my alarm set for 8am to call the clinic, but there was no need for an alarm. I watched the minutes tick by. At 8:01, I called the clinic & they fit me in at 10:20. My veterinarian is amazing, and performed both of Millie's TPLO surgeries (one in the end of 2007 & the other in the beginning of 2008). He knew Millie's joints & history, and I was confident that he could give me an answer. During her physical exam we laughed & made small talk. He initially suspected what I was longing to hear - flare up of arthritis in her knee with the sudden cold weather change. He told me that he had another suspicion, but didn't even want to say it out loud because he knew I already had it on my mind - osteosarcoma. A Mastiff we both know, about Millie's age, was recently diagnosed with osteosarcoma, and he knows me well enough to know that is what I was worried about. We both decided that radiographs were in order. Millie was lead away & I knew she was going to be a bit of a troublemaker in x-ray. She hates being on her back, and I have helped hold her for radiographs when I worked in this same vet clinic a few years ago. They were gone for 10 or so minutes & an assistant returned Millie to the room while the veterinarian went to do an annual exam on a patient in the other room. I felt sick to my stomach. If it was nothing, I knew he would have come in, told me so, and we would have joked about me overreacting. Instead, he was attending to the other patient. I suspect that he knew I would have a million questions after giving me the news. When he finally entered the room, he apologized about the wait & said he was worried. Her radiographs looked like she had osteosarcoma in her left tibia & maybe fibula -- right where her TPLO plate is.
1/21/12 - Millie's left knee (suspected osteosarcoma)
1/21/12 - Millie's right knee
He advised that I go to the University of Illinois Vet Med for an oncology consultation. We briefly discussed options (palliative care, radiation, amputation, chemo - or a combination of some of those). He helped me answer my immediate questions & assured me that he would give her good pain medication that we could start right away. He gave us Tramadol & Gabapentin. I held it together as best I could, but found it difficult to do so with so many emotions & questions running though my mind. I have a million times convinced myself that my animals have some horrible injury/illness/disease/etc, and have always been happily surprised to find out they were okay. Today was different. Today I was proven right. My dog has cancer. My dog. Evan took Millie to the car while I paid the bill & waited for her x-rays.
Evan drove home while I called my parents & brothers to share the news. My next call was to an incredible friend who is also a veterinarian. I asked her to come with me to Millie's oncology consultation. She graciously agreed to do so. A few calls later & that was all I could do. I needed cuddle time with Millie. Her pain meds had made her pretty tired, so she was quite happy to cuddle. One of the cats had so nicely peed on the bed, so I was left standing in my room, staring at a pee spot & crying. Evan stripped the bed, gathered extra blankets & helped Millie on to the bed (she can get up just fine, but now I was worried about her jumping). While he started laundry, picked up the apartment & washed dishes, I cuddled Millie & cried. I know she can sense my attitude, and I want to keep her spirits up, but I needed some time to just be sad. Millie has always been an excellent cuddle partner, and she lived up to her very best performance.
My veterinarian friend called in yet another pain med for Millie, and after picking up her Rimadyl, I went home to start my research. Saturday evening was spent scouring the internet for anything and everything that could be useful. Evan & I looked up everything from cancer basics to prosthetics to doggie wheelchairs. I wanted to be as prepared as I can be. I scheduled two oncology consultations -- one for VCA Aurora on 1/24 (just because I had heard good things about them) and one for the University of Illinois on 1/26. My hope is that I will feel better about where we stand after having two consultations. The last thing I want to do is make a poor decision for her treatment. Two has to be better than one, right? The more information, the better I will *hopefully* feel about any decision.
I have been told that our first step is diagnosis via a bone biopsy & chest radiographs. Though, they hope Millie's chest is clear of any obvious metastasis, if it is there, her treatment plan will be dramatically different. In something close to 90% of dogs, the cancer has micro-metastasized elsewhere in the body, which is why they usually recommend chemotherapy with this type of cancer. Another treatment? to strongly consider is amputation of the affected limb. Her veterinarian says that her right knee and hip look great, so he suspects she'd do just fine with three legs.
At this point I am trying not to drive myself crazy by over thinking things, but to also trying to become well informed. My CareCredit available balance has been increased (thank GOD for CareCredit), I've been approved for some time off of work for her appointments, and my veterinarian friend has agreed to accompany me to both oncology appointments (how wonderful is she, right?!). Millie seems to be feeling well, and really, that is the most important thing. The best advice I've been given at this point, has been to remember to listen to what Millie is telling me. Right now she is telling me it is time to pee & go to bed.
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